1 00:00:15,444 --> 00:00:17,172 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:17,222 --> 00:00:19,089 Mike! Mike! Mike! 3 00:00:19,191 --> 00:00:22,426 I'm hearing that some banks may be requiring a federal bailout. 4 00:00:22,528 --> 00:00:24,428 Bailouts are not on the table. 5 00:00:24,530 --> 00:00:28,332 It is possible some banks may require massive capital infusions. 6 00:00:28,434 --> 00:00:30,901 That's the literal definition of bailing something out. 7 00:00:31,003 --> 00:00:33,203 There will be no bailouts. I was clear on this point. 8 00:00:33,305 --> 00:00:34,705 Very clear on this. 9 00:00:36,475 --> 00:00:38,475 So, next up on the hit parade, 10 00:00:38,577 --> 00:00:40,877 we get to decide which banks to bail out. 11 00:00:40,980 --> 00:00:42,446 Well, I hope to fiscal fuck 12 00:00:42,548 --> 00:00:45,415 the fed has a trillion dollars stuffed in a mattress somewhere. 13 00:00:45,517 --> 00:00:47,484 There are three banks in danger that are gonna need 14 00:00:47,586 --> 00:00:49,453 massive infusions of cash over the weekend. 15 00:00:49,555 --> 00:00:52,356 Essentially, we can only afford to bail out two. 16 00:00:52,458 --> 00:00:53,724 And if we do nothing? 17 00:00:53,826 --> 00:00:56,126 Go to the ATM Monday and dust will come out. 18 00:00:56,228 --> 00:00:58,829 This is not a decision we can make based on politics. 19 00:00:58,931 --> 00:01:01,631 - No, definitely not. - But we've got to save Janders Capital 20 00:01:01,734 --> 00:01:03,934 - because they're based in Illinois. - We need Illinois. 21 00:01:04,036 --> 00:01:07,437 That's one. Paulsten-Berheim or EM Wheelright? 22 00:01:07,539 --> 00:01:10,574 Well, Wheelright is Charlie Baird's bank. 23 00:01:12,144 --> 00:01:13,577 So... 24 00:01:13,679 --> 00:01:16,246 My pick is EM Wheelright. 25 00:01:16,348 --> 00:01:17,714 You know what, Tom? I think... 26 00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,983 oh, yes. What he just said. 27 00:01:20,085 --> 00:01:24,054 Um, could everyone who doesn't absolutely have to be here please leave the room? 28 00:01:24,156 --> 00:01:27,157 Thank you. 29 00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:29,485 Ma'am, you cannot bail out Charlie Baird's bank. 30 00:01:29,510 --> 00:01:30,251 Why not? 31 00:01:30,329 --> 00:01:32,496 'Cause that's gonna look like you care more about your boyfriend 32 00:01:32,598 --> 00:01:34,831 than you do the economy, normal people, 33 00:01:34,933 --> 00:01:37,000 and everything else you're supposed to care about. 34 00:01:37,102 --> 00:01:40,270 - AIDS for example. - Thanks, Kent's autism. 35 00:01:40,372 --> 00:01:43,807 Look, there is no love lost between me and Charlie Baird. 36 00:01:43,909 --> 00:01:47,044 Though it pains me to say it, his bank is stronger. 37 00:01:47,146 --> 00:01:49,246 - That's my point. - It's the right call for the future. 38 00:01:49,348 --> 00:01:53,383 Ma'am, you are not going to have a future if you bail out Charlie. 39 00:01:53,485 --> 00:01:56,119 All right, I'm gonna need some more time. 40 00:01:56,221 --> 00:01:58,855 At least when Truman made the decision to drop the bomb, 41 00:01:58,957 --> 00:02:01,058 he wasn't fucking anyone in Hiroshima. 42 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,125 That we know of. 43 00:02:02,227 --> 00:02:05,295 Hello there. I'm Jonah Ryan. 44 00:02:07,533 --> 00:02:09,433 And I grew up right here 45 00:02:09,535 --> 00:02:11,868 in the awesome state of New Hampshire. 46 00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:14,004 The Granite State of the United States. 47 00:02:14,106 --> 00:02:15,906 For your family, for your future, 48 00:02:16,008 --> 00:02:17,707 vote Ryan for Congress. 49 00:02:17,810 --> 00:02:20,577 My name is Jonah Ryan and I approve this message. 50 00:02:22,347 --> 00:02:25,082 So, now you have all seen the ad 51 00:02:25,184 --> 00:02:28,151 and we want to know what you think about it. 52 00:02:28,253 --> 00:02:30,720 - Anyone? - I didn't like the guy. 53 00:02:30,823 --> 00:02:32,789 You don't like him? Okay. 54 00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,358 That wood he's chopping, it's not gonna burn right. 55 00:02:35,461 --> 00:02:38,228 To burn... the wood is not going to burn. 56 00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:39,896 What else? 57 00:02:39,998 --> 00:02:41,631 His head is too big for his body. 58 00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:44,601 But then sometimes his body is too big for his head. 59 00:02:44,703 --> 00:02:47,838 - He's the wrong shape. - Uh, shape is wrong? 60 00:02:47,940 --> 00:02:51,608 Does anyone have anything positive to say about the ad? 61 00:02:54,046 --> 00:02:56,146 - I like the kid. - Yeah. 62 00:02:56,248 --> 00:02:58,215 Like the kid in the ad, the little boy. 63 00:02:58,317 --> 00:03:00,183 But I did not like that he was next to that guy. 64 00:03:00,285 --> 00:03:02,586 I was like, "Run, kid." 65 00:03:02,688 --> 00:03:04,955 Oh, surprise, surprise. Look who's here. 66 00:03:05,057 --> 00:03:09,392 Do you morons really not understand that this is a two-way mirror? 67 00:03:09,495 --> 00:03:12,529 Seriously? Are you shocked by that technology? 68 00:03:12,631 --> 00:03:14,364 I work in the fucking West Wing, 69 00:03:14,466 --> 00:03:16,233 you Pepperidge Farm ad motherfuckers. 70 00:03:16,335 --> 00:03:17,634 - Fuck you. - Watch your mouth. 71 00:03:17,736 --> 00:03:20,237 Sit your fucking mom jeans ass down, dude. 72 00:03:20,339 --> 00:03:22,639 You've got to learn to control your fucking temper! 73 00:03:22,741 --> 00:03:25,475 Wow. Lord. 74 00:03:25,577 --> 00:03:27,511 This is beyond language. 75 00:03:27,613 --> 00:03:29,246 I know the world of focus groups. 76 00:03:29,348 --> 00:03:31,548 I think maybe we picked the wrong candidate. 77 00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:35,519 Uh-huh. How is Catherine there and also here? 78 00:03:35,621 --> 00:03:38,121 - She's not here, ma'am. - Since when? 79 00:03:38,223 --> 00:03:41,458 - Last week. - Oh, my God. 80 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,794 And then to put a fucking cherry on this shit sundae, 81 00:03:44,897 --> 00:03:46,530 did you guys see that article in "Politico"? 82 00:03:46,632 --> 00:03:48,407 "Meyer's Five Biggest Economic Mistakes"? 83 00:03:48,432 --> 00:03:49,023 No. 84 00:03:49,101 --> 00:03:51,067 "Recession Has a New NAME: the Selina Slump"? 85 00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:53,870 No. Gary, you have the machine? 86 00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,572 - Yeah. - Listen to this. 87 00:03:55,674 --> 00:03:57,474 "In a further sign of low morale"... 88 00:03:57,576 --> 00:03:59,476 No, you've got to read it properly. 89 00:03:59,578 --> 00:04:01,811 - Nope, that's not it. - You've got to spin it. 90 00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:05,115 Here we go. Why does it keep doing the turning? 91 00:04:05,217 --> 00:04:08,418 "A high-level West Wing staffer was recently overheard 92 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,321 calling the president the C word." 93 00:04:11,423 --> 00:04:14,191 Can you believe this shit? 94 00:04:14,293 --> 00:04:16,826 - Oh, wow. - That's crazy. 95 00:04:16,929 --> 00:04:18,428 Yeah, this is broken, by the way. 96 00:04:18,530 --> 00:04:20,497 Ma'am, I think that we need to resume our focus 97 00:04:20,599 --> 00:04:21,965 on relaunching Jonah's campaign. 98 00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:23,567 We need a Jonah whisperer, 99 00:04:23,669 --> 00:04:25,135 except somebody who's gonna, like, 100 00:04:25,237 --> 00:04:26,836 yell in his face and call him stupid. 101 00:04:26,939 --> 00:04:29,673 - Oh, we need Dan Egan. - Dan turned us down. 102 00:04:29,775 --> 00:04:31,508 But I've got some interviews lined up. 103 00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:34,344 - We'll make the right choice. - Well, are you doing it? 104 00:04:34,446 --> 00:04:36,713 You're just sitting here farting into my couch. 105 00:04:36,815 --> 00:04:38,582 Let's go, let's go, let's go. 106 00:04:38,684 --> 00:04:40,483 Amy, I need to talk to you for a moment. 107 00:04:40,586 --> 00:04:41,436 Yes, ma'am. 108 00:04:41,461 --> 00:04:44,011 I want you to find out who called me a cunt. 109 00:04:44,089 --> 00:04:47,857 - Ma'am... - Listen, with the votes and the banks, 110 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,511 we can't have a traitor in our castle, right? 111 00:04:50,536 --> 00:04:51,385 Yeah... 112 00:04:51,463 --> 00:04:53,663 - You need to bring me a head. - Yes, ma'am. 113 00:04:53,765 --> 00:04:56,166 Hey, Dan. You want to go to lunch later 114 00:04:56,268 --> 00:04:57,834 at Hansong Korean Barbecue? 115 00:04:57,936 --> 00:04:59,502 Come on, I've got a Groupon, expires Monday. 116 00:04:59,605 --> 00:05:01,371 50 bucks for $100 worth of food. 117 00:05:01,473 --> 00:05:04,274 It's in Annandale, Mike. No one from DC goes to fucking Annandale. 118 00:05:04,376 --> 00:05:07,277 Hey, how about an $80 in-home massage for 40 bucks? 119 00:05:07,379 --> 00:05:09,145 - With release? - No. 120 00:05:09,248 --> 00:05:09,970 Then what's the point? 121 00:05:09,996 --> 00:05:11,538 Hey, why did you turn down the Jonah job? 122 00:05:11,617 --> 00:05:12,324 Come on. 123 00:05:12,349 --> 00:05:14,208 Jesus, Dan, you wouldn't know the smart move 124 00:05:14,286 --> 00:05:16,286 if it bent you over and fucked you with a Coke bottle. 125 00:05:16,388 --> 00:05:18,521 If Jonah loses, no one's gonna blame you. 126 00:05:18,624 --> 00:05:21,391 - If he wins, you're a political genius. - I'll think about it. 127 00:05:21,493 --> 00:05:24,661 Think fast. Ben's interviewing candidates right now. 128 00:05:24,763 --> 00:05:26,396 Not worried. 129 00:05:29,735 --> 00:05:31,001 Move, move! 130 00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:33,169 The widow bravely carrying the flag narrative 131 00:05:33,272 --> 00:05:34,971 has traction for about a week. 132 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,606 After that, done. 133 00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:38,208 Hey, Ben, can I... 134 00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:39,542 Dan, do you know Candi Caruso? 135 00:05:39,645 --> 00:05:41,211 - Yes. - No. 136 00:05:41,313 --> 00:05:43,680 Can I speak to you for a second? 137 00:05:43,782 --> 00:05:46,516 - Yeah. Excuse me. - Sorry. 138 00:05:50,155 --> 00:05:52,589 I'm sorry, Candi. The position's been filled. 139 00:05:52,691 --> 00:05:54,624 - Aw. - Thanks for coming in. 140 00:05:54,726 --> 00:05:56,559 - It's good seeing you again. - Mm-hmm. 141 00:05:56,662 --> 00:05:58,628 What's this about? Am I in trouble? 142 00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:01,097 No, no. The president 143 00:06:01,199 --> 00:06:02,832 asked me to speak to everyone about a certain matter. 144 00:06:02,934 --> 00:06:04,868 Is this about the coffee pods I took from the kitchen? 145 00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:07,637 - We had a brunch and I took them. - No. No. 146 00:06:07,739 --> 00:06:10,540 Mike, do you know who called the president a cunt? 147 00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:14,477 No, I... I have no idea. 148 00:06:16,315 --> 00:06:18,715 Okay, I'm sorry. I can't do this. 149 00:06:18,817 --> 00:06:21,017 She put me in charge of this whole stupid investigation 150 00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,552 and it was me. I called her a cunt. 151 00:06:22,654 --> 00:06:23,787 You did? 152 00:06:23,889 --> 00:06:25,155 I thought everyone knew it was me. 153 00:06:25,257 --> 00:06:26,389 I was in the Senate building with Dan 154 00:06:26,491 --> 00:06:27,791 and I'm sure someone overheard me. 155 00:06:27,893 --> 00:06:30,794 I shouted it into my phone on the Acela Quiet Car. 156 00:06:33,632 --> 00:06:35,832 Okay. 157 00:06:35,934 --> 00:06:37,167 I've made my decision. 158 00:06:37,269 --> 00:06:39,969 We are going to bail out Charlie's bank. 159 00:06:40,072 --> 00:06:41,471 I don't care what hits we take. 160 00:06:41,573 --> 00:06:43,006 It's for the good of the country in the long run. 161 00:06:43,108 --> 00:06:44,841 - Bravo, Madam President. - Yeah. 162 00:06:44,943 --> 00:06:46,242 - Ma'am, if I could just... - Nope. 163 00:06:46,345 --> 00:06:47,911 I don't want to hear it, okay? 164 00:06:48,013 --> 00:06:49,746 That's my final solution. 165 00:06:49,848 --> 00:06:51,848 "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" 166 00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:53,817 Do you get it? Yeah. 167 00:06:55,087 --> 00:06:56,953 I can't ever forget 168 00:06:57,055 --> 00:07:00,156 it's about the people. 169 00:07:01,927 --> 00:07:03,693 Are you even getting any of this? 170 00:07:03,795 --> 00:07:05,161 Getting what? 171 00:07:05,263 --> 00:07:07,797 I was looking thoughtfully out the window. 172 00:07:07,899 --> 00:07:10,667 Some straight up JFK level shit. 173 00:07:10,769 --> 00:07:13,670 I was just getting some B-roll of the fax machine. 174 00:07:15,507 --> 00:07:18,108 Ah! Come on! 175 00:07:18,210 --> 00:07:19,576 God. 176 00:07:19,678 --> 00:07:21,578 You know, the state that you live in sucks. 177 00:07:23,048 --> 00:07:24,981 Sir, as your director of communications, 178 00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:27,517 I need to tell you that we just got a letter from the band Rush. 179 00:07:27,619 --> 00:07:28,303 Really? 180 00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:30,377 They said that we can't use the song "Working Man" anymore 181 00:07:30,455 --> 00:07:32,555 because they find you odious. 182 00:07:32,657 --> 00:07:34,324 You know what? I play what I want. 183 00:07:34,426 --> 00:07:37,026 Copyright shit went out with the Zune. 184 00:07:37,129 --> 00:07:40,096 Whoa, I'm sorry. What are you doing here? 185 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:42,232 Hello, Jonah. Richard. 186 00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:45,635 - Hi, Catherine. - When you talk to me, you ruin the film. 187 00:07:45,737 --> 00:07:47,303 Always a pleasure. 188 00:07:47,406 --> 00:07:49,472 I'm here to be your new campaign manager. 189 00:07:49,574 --> 00:07:51,349 Holy shit, are you here to beg me for a job? 190 00:07:52,043 --> 00:07:54,344 As director of communication, I should have been alerted to this. 191 00:07:54,446 --> 00:07:56,312 Uh, why don't you have a seat 192 00:07:56,415 --> 00:07:58,248 and tell me about your job history and we'll go from there? 193 00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:01,184 From now on, Jonah, you will shut the fuck up and do exactly as I say. 194 00:08:01,286 --> 00:08:03,486 And if you listen to me instead of your only two brain cells 195 00:08:03,588 --> 00:08:07,624 busy butt-fucking each other somewhere in the vast expanses of your misshapen skull, 196 00:08:07,726 --> 00:08:09,793 then maybe, Jonah, you might have a chance 197 00:08:09,895 --> 00:08:12,729 at becoming the first mentally impaired Frankenstein's monster 198 00:08:12,831 --> 00:08:14,798 to ever win an American election. 199 00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:17,467 And by the way, your banner makes it look like your name is Jon H. Ryan, 200 00:08:17,569 --> 00:08:19,369 so great job, communications department. 201 00:08:19,471 --> 00:08:22,872 - I'm taking this office. - Wait, that's my office. 202 00:08:22,974 --> 00:08:24,641 I got that. 203 00:08:25,911 --> 00:08:27,577 How do you look so good with all this stress? 204 00:08:27,679 --> 00:08:28,978 You're glowing. 205 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,947 You actually look younger. What did you do? 206 00:08:31,049 --> 00:08:32,916 Oh, my God, he noticed. 207 00:08:33,018 --> 00:08:34,717 - What? - Mmm. 208 00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:38,521 Uh, I have a new facial moisturizer. 209 00:08:38,623 --> 00:08:40,590 - Oh. - And a new soap. 210 00:08:40,692 --> 00:08:42,559 - Gary. - Yeah, I'll just stand over here. 211 00:08:42,661 --> 00:08:44,427 - Actually, I think... - I'll just leave the room. 212 00:08:44,529 --> 00:08:45,695 - Yes. - Yeah. 213 00:08:45,797 --> 00:08:48,565 Listen, Selina, I want to apologize. 214 00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:50,867 I know that our relationship has compromised your job. 215 00:08:50,969 --> 00:08:52,902 - Yeah. - But you're the president. 216 00:08:53,004 --> 00:08:55,038 Whatever you decide is best. 217 00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:58,041 And it won't affect our relationship one way or another. 218 00:08:59,544 --> 00:09:01,678 - Okay. - Now, enough shoptalk. 219 00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,580 - Yeah, no kidding. - All right. 220 00:09:03,682 --> 00:09:06,316 - Let's talk about something else. - Yes. 221 00:09:09,588 --> 00:09:11,287 - Do you want to just have sex? - Yeah. 222 00:09:11,389 --> 00:09:12,722 - Yeah. - It's got to be quick, though. 223 00:09:12,824 --> 00:09:14,424 I got wheels up at 9:30. 224 00:09:14,526 --> 00:09:16,626 Ooh, that turns me on. 225 00:09:20,565 --> 00:09:22,532 - Hello, ma'am. - Amy, come to my office. 226 00:09:22,634 --> 00:09:24,167 - Right now? - Yeah. 227 00:09:24,269 --> 00:09:25,835 Of course. 228 00:09:27,372 --> 00:09:29,906 Set a reminder. 229 00:09:30,008 --> 00:09:32,542 Make an appointment to freeze eggs. 230 00:09:34,379 --> 00:09:36,112 Ma'am, are you okay? 231 00:09:36,214 --> 00:09:39,482 - Amy, how's the investigation going? - Oh, uh, fine. 232 00:09:39,584 --> 00:09:41,918 I mean, the investigation of me being called a cunt. 233 00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,953 - I knew which one you meant. - Yeah, good. 234 00:09:44,055 --> 00:09:47,223 Well, it does occur to me that we've all got a lot on our plates right now. 235 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:48,075 Yeah. 236 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,350 So I think we should push this investigation 237 00:09:50,428 --> 00:09:52,462 until after everything... 238 00:09:52,564 --> 00:09:54,163 I want you to fire Gerry Duggan, 239 00:09:54,266 --> 00:09:57,133 Phil Neary and what's her ass, Lisa... 240 00:09:57,235 --> 00:09:58,052 Hatch? 241 00:09:58,077 --> 00:10:00,527 Yeah, I want her out of the comms department, okay? 242 00:10:00,605 --> 00:10:02,705 Because they should not have let an article 243 00:10:02,807 --> 00:10:05,642 about me being called a cunt get out in the first place, right? 244 00:10:05,744 --> 00:10:07,777 - Well, I'm not the person who... - Fire them. 245 00:10:07,879 --> 00:10:10,680 - Okay. - I am the first female president 246 00:10:10,782 --> 00:10:13,583 of the United States and this is an affront. 247 00:10:13,685 --> 00:10:15,351 Yes, ma'am. 248 00:10:17,889 --> 00:10:19,355 I'll tell you something, Amy. 249 00:10:19,457 --> 00:10:22,859 A lot of people don't want me to be president. 250 00:10:22,961 --> 00:10:27,096 And you know why. Because fundamentally, people hate women, right? 251 00:10:27,198 --> 00:10:30,266 I mean, they'll just stop at nothing to get me out of here. 252 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:33,937 Everybody's trying to get me, but I'm not gonna let them. 253 00:10:34,039 --> 00:10:36,205 You okay, ma'am? 254 00:10:36,308 --> 00:10:38,007 Have you ever been called a cunt? 255 00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:39,309 Many times. 256 00:10:39,411 --> 00:10:42,645 Well, now I have, too, apparently once. 257 00:10:44,916 --> 00:10:46,616 Hey, Mom, I'm back. 258 00:10:46,718 --> 00:10:49,819 You were gone? Oh, right, you were in New Hampshire. 259 00:10:49,921 --> 00:10:51,888 - Gary, is now a good time? - Mm-hmm. 260 00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:54,791 - What? He's not in charge of me. - Mm-mmm. 261 00:10:54,893 --> 00:10:57,069 I just wanted to know can we talk for a second? 262 00:10:57,094 --> 00:10:57,818 Yeah. 263 00:10:57,896 --> 00:10:59,596 I feel like since Mee-Maw died, 264 00:10:59,698 --> 00:11:02,198 I've had some time to reflect on things 265 00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:05,535 and, you know, why things didn't work out between me and Jason. 266 00:11:05,637 --> 00:11:06,371 Uh-huh. 267 00:11:06,396 --> 00:11:08,595 Or the guy in college who wanted to watch me pee. 268 00:11:08,673 --> 00:11:10,773 Or the guy with the weirdly high voice. 269 00:11:10,875 --> 00:11:13,543 No, there were two guys with weirdly high voices. 270 00:11:13,645 --> 00:11:14,911 - Yeah, there were two. - Do you remember? 271 00:11:15,013 --> 00:11:16,913 - I've been trying... - Madam President. 272 00:11:17,015 --> 00:11:20,483 Yeah? I have to deal with whatever this is, okay, Catherine? 273 00:11:20,585 --> 00:11:22,619 So we can talk later. 274 00:11:22,721 --> 00:11:24,854 - Guys, I don't want to hear it. - Ma'am. 275 00:11:24,956 --> 00:11:25,731 Ma'am. 276 00:11:25,756 --> 00:11:28,081 No, guys, you know I'm not gonna rethink it. 277 00:11:28,159 --> 00:11:29,692 - I've made the decision. - Madam President! 278 00:11:29,794 --> 00:11:32,128 That is if you'd like for that to remain your title! 279 00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:34,530 Wow. What? 280 00:11:34,633 --> 00:11:36,299 It's worse than we thought. 281 00:11:36,401 --> 00:11:39,702 I ran the numbers. Approval rating for bailing out 282 00:11:39,804 --> 00:11:43,740 your sexual partner's financial establishment... 4.3%. 283 00:11:43,842 --> 00:11:45,274 Hanukah polls higher in Mecca. 284 00:11:45,377 --> 00:11:47,377 But it's the right bank to bail out, right? 285 00:11:47,479 --> 00:11:50,813 That's right, ma'am, but nobody understands the economy. 286 00:11:50,915 --> 00:11:53,783 - Literally nobody. - Not literally. 287 00:11:53,885 --> 00:11:58,187 And then I think we lose three or four states in Congress just like that. 288 00:11:58,289 --> 00:12:01,424 What would you guys do if you had to choose between your cock and your balls? 289 00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:05,528 I could lose them both. I mean, at this stage they're purely decorative. 290 00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:08,431 Guys, you want to go out later for some Hansong Korean Barbecue? 291 00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:11,567 Korean barbecue is a travesty and a far cry from authentic. 292 00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:13,970 - I'm his plus one. - Sue? 293 00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:17,740 That's Korean for "I hate you." 294 00:12:17,842 --> 00:12:19,676 Marjorie? 295 00:12:20,845 --> 00:12:22,311 That is her name, right? 296 00:12:23,381 --> 00:12:26,382 Sorry to do this, everyone. 297 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:29,485 But I've done some deep soul diving 298 00:12:29,587 --> 00:12:33,056 and we are going to bail out Paulsten-Berheim. 299 00:12:33,158 --> 00:12:35,224 - Oh, fuck. - Make that happen. 300 00:12:35,326 --> 00:12:37,760 Thank nonexistent Jesus. 301 00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:43,266 No, I don't know. I don't want to wear the glasses. 302 00:12:43,368 --> 00:12:44,701 They're part of your relaunch. 303 00:12:44,803 --> 00:12:47,670 They make you look half smart, you fucking goon. 304 00:12:47,772 --> 00:12:49,872 You know what we call people like you back in my day? 305 00:12:49,974 --> 00:12:51,841 Retards. 306 00:12:51,943 --> 00:12:54,343 Tom Petty says we can't use "Won't Back Down" anymore. 307 00:12:54,446 --> 00:12:57,013 Okay, well, fuck him if he thinks I'm gonna back down. 308 00:12:57,115 --> 00:12:58,881 That's, like, the whole point of the song. 309 00:12:58,983 --> 00:13:00,717 We got the okay from Gary Glitter, 310 00:13:00,819 --> 00:13:02,785 but he's in jail for child rape, so maybe not the first choice. 311 00:13:02,887 --> 00:13:04,220 Okay, all right, now listen to me. 312 00:13:04,322 --> 00:13:06,489 Go out there, turn this thing around, all right? 313 00:13:06,591 --> 00:13:08,324 The widow's beating you by 30 points. 314 00:13:08,426 --> 00:13:10,893 She's a retired second grade teacher, for Christ's sake. 315 00:13:10,995 --> 00:13:13,096 Yeah, who sucks and gives too much homework. 316 00:13:13,198 --> 00:13:15,998 - She's your second grade teacher? - Yeah. 317 00:13:16,101 --> 00:13:18,101 Jonah Ryan, pleasure to meet you. Thanks for coming out, sir. 318 00:13:18,203 --> 00:13:20,403 Jonah Ryan, running for Congress. Pleasure to meet you. 319 00:13:20,505 --> 00:13:22,538 Get a picture of me and this guy's mustache. 320 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,241 Jonah Ryan. Ma'am, I have some breakfast back there. 321 00:13:25,343 --> 00:13:26,809 You should really try the corned beef hash. 322 00:13:26,911 --> 00:13:28,478 It's so much more agreeable than anything 323 00:13:28,580 --> 00:13:30,079 that gets dished out in prison. 324 00:13:30,181 --> 00:13:32,715 Bill. I thought you were in the... 325 00:13:32,817 --> 00:13:34,951 The slammer? My lawyer got it thrown out on appeal. 326 00:13:35,053 --> 00:13:38,287 O'Brien hired me to be the Widow Sherman's new campaign manager. 327 00:13:38,389 --> 00:13:40,456 - You're kidding me. - No, Dan. 328 00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:43,760 One thing you learn in prison is not to make jokes. 329 00:13:43,862 --> 00:13:46,929 I am fructose intolerant, you nitwit. 330 00:13:47,031 --> 00:13:49,432 I assume what I'm seeing is the patented Egan touch. 331 00:13:49,534 --> 00:13:51,667 I'll see you on the campaign trail, amigo. 332 00:13:51,770 --> 00:13:53,770 Tell the president no hard feelings. 333 00:13:53,872 --> 00:13:55,404 Oh, wait, that's right. 334 00:13:55,507 --> 00:13:58,374 I do have hard feelings. I'm consumed by them. 335 00:13:58,476 --> 00:13:59,942 ...we're not in this situation. 336 00:14:00,044 --> 00:14:01,577 This is done. Dan, we got to go. 337 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:03,946 - Yeah. Yes. - Dan. 338 00:14:05,383 --> 00:14:06,816 Oh, Catherine. 339 00:14:06,918 --> 00:14:08,985 Honey, you wanted to talk to me privately before. 340 00:14:09,087 --> 00:14:11,721 - Now is a perfect time. - Really? 341 00:14:11,823 --> 00:14:15,358 Mm-hmm. Now, what happened to the boyfriend with the high voice? 342 00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:16,859 He couldn't go to the bathroom? 343 00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:18,895 What it was more about was just my relationships 344 00:14:18,997 --> 00:14:20,647 and examining a sort of common pattern... 345 00:14:20,672 --> 00:14:21,221 Ma'am. 346 00:14:21,299 --> 00:14:23,633 - Yeah? - I wondered... hey, Catherine. 347 00:14:23,735 --> 00:14:25,935 I wondered if you and I could just have a moment together? 348 00:14:26,037 --> 00:14:27,503 - Privately. - Definitely. 349 00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,972 I'm gonna talk to you later. 350 00:14:30,074 --> 00:14:31,874 Tom, I don't think... 351 00:14:31,976 --> 00:14:34,010 where are you going? 352 00:14:34,112 --> 00:14:35,812 Ma'am, you are known to be 353 00:14:35,914 --> 00:14:38,247 - a very smart political operator. - I know. 354 00:14:38,349 --> 00:14:41,017 Good afternoon. Hello again. 355 00:14:41,119 --> 00:14:44,420 On second thought, we are now going to bail out 356 00:14:44,522 --> 00:14:47,824 Charlie and Wheelright. Thank you. 357 00:14:47,926 --> 00:14:49,859 Yeah. 358 00:14:49,961 --> 00:14:51,661 No. You know what? 359 00:14:51,763 --> 00:14:55,164 On third thought, let's just stick with the plan before. 360 00:14:55,266 --> 00:14:56,933 We're going to bail out Paulsten. 361 00:14:57,035 --> 00:14:59,101 Yeah. Yeah. 362 00:14:59,204 --> 00:15:01,737 So, who had 12:50 P.M.? 363 00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:07,677 Huh, you eat. 364 00:15:07,779 --> 00:15:10,146 I suppose you need something to nervously shit out. 365 00:15:10,248 --> 00:15:11,914 Hello, Leon. It's always good to see 366 00:15:12,016 --> 00:15:13,983 the most left-swiped face on Tinder. 367 00:15:14,085 --> 00:15:18,020 Busy day. Three people fired from the communications office. 368 00:15:18,122 --> 00:15:19,522 High turnover department. 369 00:15:19,624 --> 00:15:21,257 Or is a panicky mass firing 370 00:15:21,359 --> 00:15:24,126 because someone called POTUS a cunt in "Politico"? 371 00:15:24,229 --> 00:15:26,996 Ah, I just blew the lid off of Cuntgate. 372 00:15:27,098 --> 00:15:29,198 - It's not a gate. - No, it's very much a gate. 373 00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,534 - Untrue. - You should watch out, Amy. 374 00:15:31,636 --> 00:15:33,502 You don't want to be the face of Cuntgate. 375 00:15:33,605 --> 00:15:36,105 Although you do have the perfect face for it. 376 00:15:37,809 --> 00:15:39,442 So it spread to the insurance companies? 377 00:15:39,544 --> 00:15:42,311 - At least three of them. - Jesus Christ. 378 00:15:43,915 --> 00:15:44,981 Oh, come on. 379 00:15:45,083 --> 00:15:48,284 Good evening. It is me again. 380 00:15:48,386 --> 00:15:51,220 Um, yeah, so I was just talking to Mike 381 00:15:51,322 --> 00:15:55,491 and I definitely want to bail out Wheelright. 382 00:15:55,593 --> 00:15:57,493 That's a smart play. 383 00:15:57,595 --> 00:16:00,162 Mike! You fucking jagoff. 384 00:16:00,265 --> 00:16:02,164 Is this about the coffee pods? I swear I was gonna put... 385 00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:04,800 No, you told the president to bail out Charlie's bank. 386 00:16:04,903 --> 00:16:06,135 No, I didn't say anything about banks. 387 00:16:06,237 --> 00:16:07,737 I was talking to her about how Wendy paid off 388 00:16:07,839 --> 00:16:09,305 my student loans and how I love her for it. 389 00:16:09,407 --> 00:16:12,241 You still have student loans? How old are you? 390 00:16:12,343 --> 00:16:13,709 I'm not good with money. 391 00:16:16,981 --> 00:16:19,215 Now, the widow's gonna get 10 minutes, then you get 10 minutes. 392 00:16:19,317 --> 00:16:21,951 Hi, I'm Jonah Ryan. So happy to be here. What a great cause. 393 00:16:22,053 --> 00:16:24,820 - Stump speech. - I'm listening and I'm a doer. 394 00:16:24,923 --> 00:16:27,356 It's good to start with a joke about a local bigwig 395 00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:29,158 like Mayor Brock is here tonight. 396 00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:31,127 I guess when he had cancer, the doctors removed 397 00:16:31,229 --> 00:16:33,863 his ability to stop doing his kid's babysitter. 398 00:16:33,965 --> 00:16:36,866 Seems kind of harsh. 399 00:16:36,968 --> 00:16:38,968 I know New Hampshire. Trust me, big laugh. 400 00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:40,770 Also, sir, some bands we haven't used 401 00:16:40,872 --> 00:16:42,672 have sent some preemptive cease-and-desist orders. 402 00:16:42,774 --> 00:16:44,273 Sting, Bruce Springsteen... 403 00:16:44,375 --> 00:16:46,375 sent two letters, actually... and Enya. 404 00:16:46,477 --> 00:16:47,677 Enya? 405 00:16:47,779 --> 00:16:49,845 Send her a fucking cease-and-desist letter. 406 00:16:49,948 --> 00:16:52,515 - Hello, Jonah. - Good morning, Mrs. Sherman. 407 00:16:52,617 --> 00:16:56,018 I still remember that lovely macaroni portrait 408 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,586 you made of your mother. 409 00:16:57,689 --> 00:16:59,622 I don't recall that macaroni portrait, Mrs. Sherman. 410 00:16:59,724 --> 00:17:01,691 - Please welcome... - Excuse me, ma'am. You're on. 411 00:17:01,793 --> 00:17:03,696 ...our first speaker, Mrs. Judy Sherman. 412 00:17:04,462 --> 00:17:05,928 Thank you. 413 00:17:06,030 --> 00:17:08,264 Did you hear that dig about the macaroni portrait? 414 00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:09,899 Can you fucking believe that? 415 00:17:10,001 --> 00:17:12,335 Hey, we're on a code black. 416 00:17:12,437 --> 00:17:14,971 POTUS is on an opinion shopping spree. Come on. 417 00:17:16,107 --> 00:17:18,407 Hey, slow down. I'm on Coumadin. 418 00:17:18,509 --> 00:17:21,110 Sue, we need to see the president. 419 00:17:21,212 --> 00:17:23,212 Gentlemen, you'll have to towel off and wait. 420 00:17:23,314 --> 00:17:24,947 - She's in with someone. - Who? 421 00:17:25,049 --> 00:17:26,449 Whom. 422 00:17:26,551 --> 00:17:28,351 Come on, Charlie, 100%. 423 00:17:28,453 --> 00:17:30,519 - 100%. - All right, great. 424 00:17:30,621 --> 00:17:33,222 Now, on the other hand, bailing out your boyfriend, 425 00:17:33,324 --> 00:17:36,025 I mean, that could be career-ending, right? 426 00:17:37,562 --> 00:17:39,562 Yeah, right. 427 00:17:39,664 --> 00:17:42,131 But, I mean, if you had a gun to your head... 428 00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:45,167 Oh, maybe the gun doesn't have any bullets. 429 00:17:45,269 --> 00:17:47,136 Well, thank you so much for coming. 430 00:17:47,238 --> 00:17:50,206 It was my pleasure. Oh, gentlemen. 431 00:17:50,308 --> 00:17:52,408 Well, that was completely useless. 432 00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:55,811 Ma'am, we need a final decision right now, 433 00:17:55,913 --> 00:17:57,213 even if it's the wrong one. 434 00:17:57,315 --> 00:18:01,083 I just need a little bit more time. 435 00:18:01,185 --> 00:18:03,486 If we don't put a plan into action tomorrow morning, 436 00:18:03,588 --> 00:18:05,755 then by Monday we will be Greece. 437 00:18:05,857 --> 00:18:08,057 The country, not the musical. 438 00:18:08,159 --> 00:18:11,027 All right, here's my final decision. 439 00:18:11,129 --> 00:18:14,363 You will have a final decision by tomorrow morning. 440 00:18:14,465 --> 00:18:16,265 Have both plans ready to go. 441 00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:20,036 Now, I need to get on the phone with the Israeli prime minister 442 00:18:20,138 --> 00:18:22,004 and then the president of France, okay? 443 00:18:22,106 --> 00:18:23,439 They may give me some insight into this. 444 00:18:23,541 --> 00:18:25,474 Ma'am, instead of that, I got an idea. 445 00:18:25,576 --> 00:18:27,777 You can clear your head out and have a little fun at the same time. 446 00:18:27,879 --> 00:18:30,312 - What? - Yeah, I'll call Jonah and Dan 447 00:18:30,415 --> 00:18:32,915 and you can tear them a six-pack of new assholes. 448 00:18:33,017 --> 00:18:35,785 - Oh, that does sound like fun. Okay. - Yeah. 449 00:18:35,887 --> 00:18:39,555 But when your husband of 47 years 450 00:18:39,657 --> 00:18:42,358 asks you on his deathbed... 451 00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:46,028 Dan, you're on with the president. 452 00:18:46,130 --> 00:18:48,964 Dan, I cannot fucking believe 453 00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,966 how terrible you are at your job. 454 00:18:51,069 --> 00:18:52,635 What, are you running on a platform 455 00:18:52,737 --> 00:18:54,770 of higher taxes and episiotomies? 456 00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,639 Ma'am, we just... we need a little time. 457 00:18:56,741 --> 00:19:00,009 Put that world's tallest pile of garbage on the phone right now. 458 00:19:00,111 --> 00:19:02,344 It's the president. 459 00:19:02,447 --> 00:19:04,447 Fuck... 460 00:19:04,549 --> 00:19:06,449 - Hello, ma'am. - Hey, hunchback. 461 00:19:06,551 --> 00:19:08,951 I don't know what you've been doing instead of trying to win, 462 00:19:09,053 --> 00:19:11,587 but I'm gonna guess that it has the word anal in it. 463 00:19:11,689 --> 00:19:15,257 Now, you learn to control your cocksucking temper, 464 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:17,460 otherwise I'm gonna come up there myself 465 00:19:17,562 --> 00:19:20,062 and I'm gonna shoot you in your fucking mouth. 466 00:19:22,166 --> 00:19:24,567 - She hung up. - Fuck her. 467 00:19:24,669 --> 00:19:27,203 You know, Selina Meyer is a second-rate mediocrity 468 00:19:27,305 --> 00:19:29,705 whose only achievement is single-handedly tanking the economy. 469 00:19:29,807 --> 00:19:32,608 But somehow we're the losers doing anal with each other? 470 00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:34,643 Her entire presidency has been one disgrace after another. 471 00:19:34,745 --> 00:19:36,779 - She has never respected me. - And I'm bad at my fucking job? 472 00:19:36,881 --> 00:19:38,647 - Fuck! - You know what? That's bullshit. 473 00:19:38,749 --> 00:19:40,449 - You're doing a good job. - Oh, fuck off. 474 00:19:40,551 --> 00:19:42,685 No, this glasses shit, that was dope. 475 00:19:42,787 --> 00:19:44,820 These look great. That was a great idea. 476 00:19:46,657 --> 00:19:47,990 Go fuck yourself. 477 00:19:48,092 --> 00:19:51,861 And I promise I won't let anyone get away 478 00:19:51,963 --> 00:19:54,897 with wasting your hard-earned money. 479 00:19:57,268 --> 00:19:59,401 Thank you. Thank you so much. 480 00:19:59,504 --> 00:20:01,370 Thank you. 481 00:20:01,472 --> 00:20:05,407 I want you to go out there and I want you to kick some New Hampshire ass. 482 00:20:06,426 --> 00:20:08,701 Yo, Granite State. Hey, how you feeling? 483 00:20:10,214 --> 00:20:12,915 I see that Mayor Block isn't here tonight. 484 00:20:13,017 --> 00:20:15,684 Guess he couldn't get a babysitter. 485 00:20:15,786 --> 00:20:17,419 Or could he? 486 00:20:21,893 --> 00:20:24,994 You suck! Go back to Washington. 487 00:20:25,096 --> 00:20:27,897 I took the liberty of arranging some hecklers. 488 00:20:27,999 --> 00:20:29,798 - No charge. - But, yes, I was in Washington. 489 00:20:29,901 --> 00:20:31,734 And I worked a very high-level, important job. 490 00:20:31,836 --> 00:20:34,036 You helped Selina Meyer screw up this country. 491 00:20:34,138 --> 00:20:38,007 I think she did a fine job screwing up the country all by herself. 492 00:20:38,109 --> 00:20:39,775 No, I'm serious. 493 00:20:39,877 --> 00:20:42,778 This is so much more beautiful to watch than the birth of my child. 494 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,948 Right, she single-handedly destroyed the economy, 495 00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:48,284 but she doesn't care because she's too busy 496 00:20:48,386 --> 00:20:50,486 cuddling up to her billionaire boyfriend. 497 00:20:50,588 --> 00:20:52,388 And I don't know about you, 498 00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:55,758 but my boyfriend's not a billionaire. 499 00:20:55,860 --> 00:20:59,428 Her whole presidency has been one disgrace after another 500 00:20:59,530 --> 00:21:01,063 and I don't know if you're sick of it, 501 00:21:01,165 --> 00:21:02,798 - but I am definitely sick of it... - Yes. 502 00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:06,068 ...and I'm not just gonna sit here and take it anymore. 503 00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:07,670 What the fuck? 504 00:21:07,772 --> 00:21:09,104 My name is Jonah Ryan 505 00:21:09,207 --> 00:21:11,674 and I want to be your congressman. 506 00:21:11,776 --> 00:21:14,543 And I won't back down. Thank you. 507 00:21:14,645 --> 00:21:17,179 Thank you very much, Granite State. 508 00:21:17,281 --> 00:21:19,782 You feeling me? Thank you. 509 00:21:19,884 --> 00:21:21,317 Thank you. 510 00:21:21,419 --> 00:21:23,219 - Mike! Mike! - Wayne. 511 00:21:23,321 --> 00:21:25,654 When will we hear which banks are gonna get bailout money? 512 00:21:25,756 --> 00:21:28,390 No one is using the term bailout money except for you, Wayne. 513 00:21:28,492 --> 00:21:31,760 The details for the plan will be revealed later today. 514 00:21:31,862 --> 00:21:33,429 Leon. 515 00:21:33,531 --> 00:21:35,364 Can you confirm the allegation of the firing 516 00:21:35,466 --> 00:21:39,101 of three people from the comms office is tied to See-you-next-Tuesday-gate? 517 00:21:39,203 --> 00:21:42,538 That sort of coarse language is far beneath the dignity of this room. 518 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,840 - And also it's not a gate. - Oh, it's a gate. 519 00:21:44,942 --> 00:21:46,642 - No, it is not a gate. - It's very much a gate. 520 00:21:46,744 --> 00:21:48,410 You know what? We're gonna elevate the conversation, 521 00:21:48,512 --> 00:21:50,045 go to my friend here at "The New York Times." 522 00:21:50,147 --> 00:21:52,014 Mike, the "Politico" sidebar suggested 523 00:21:52,116 --> 00:21:53,949 that there was one staffer who called the president 524 00:21:54,051 --> 00:21:55,751 the worst thing you can call a woman. 525 00:21:55,853 --> 00:21:57,753 - Why were three people fired? - Okay, that about wraps it up. 526 00:21:57,855 --> 00:21:59,221 Thank you all. No further questions. 527 00:21:59,323 --> 00:22:01,023 Enjoy your evening. 528 00:22:01,125 --> 00:22:04,193 Ben, this is real. The whole room was sniffing around Cuntgate. 529 00:22:04,295 --> 00:22:05,728 - It's not a gate, Mike. - No kidding! 530 00:22:05,830 --> 00:22:07,730 It isn't a gate. I agree. I said that. 531 00:22:07,832 --> 00:22:09,698 She's becoming seriously unhinged. 532 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,133 She has gone full metal Nixon. 533 00:22:11,235 --> 00:22:13,235 Who do you think said it? 534 00:22:13,337 --> 00:22:16,739 Well, we did. Me and Mike. 535 00:22:16,841 --> 00:22:18,841 - Oh, my God. I thought it was me. - No way. 536 00:22:18,943 --> 00:22:22,211 No, I'm pretty sure I called her a cunt to the reporter who broke the story. 537 00:22:23,881 --> 00:22:26,649 Amy, it's probable that your investigation 538 00:22:26,751 --> 00:22:30,586 has already determined that I was the one that called her a cunt. 539 00:22:30,688 --> 00:22:33,455 I'm hoping that my utility to the organization 540 00:22:33,557 --> 00:22:35,090 gives you reason to protect me on this. 541 00:22:35,192 --> 00:22:37,326 Also our friendship. 542 00:22:37,428 --> 00:22:39,061 - Hey, Ben? 543 00:22:39,163 --> 00:22:40,896 Gary. 544 00:22:40,998 --> 00:22:43,899 It was me. I called the president the C word. 545 00:22:44,001 --> 00:22:45,501 - No, you didn't. - Really? 546 00:22:45,603 --> 00:22:47,903 I was so mad about her not wearing sunscreen, 547 00:22:48,005 --> 00:22:50,039 which is stupid, and I was like, 548 00:22:50,141 --> 00:22:51,674 "What an old crone." 549 00:22:51,776 --> 00:22:53,409 A what? 550 00:22:53,511 --> 00:22:56,779 An old crone, Amy. 551 00:22:56,881 --> 00:22:59,181 Gary, C is for cunt. 552 00:22:59,283 --> 00:23:00,783 What? 553 00:23:00,885 --> 00:23:02,351 We all called her a cunt. 554 00:23:02,453 --> 00:23:04,219 Oh, my God! 555 00:23:04,322 --> 00:23:06,221 What is wrong with you people? 556 00:23:06,324 --> 00:23:08,190 Oh, Madam President. Welcome. 557 00:23:08,292 --> 00:23:11,060 I've made my final decision. 558 00:23:12,163 --> 00:23:13,796 I'm gonna bail out Charlie. 559 00:23:13,898 --> 00:23:16,865 Madam President, you really don't have to make that decision yet. 560 00:23:16,967 --> 00:23:19,101 - I mean, you got a little bit more time. - I don't need more time. 561 00:23:19,203 --> 00:23:21,670 It's best for our country's economy. 562 00:23:21,772 --> 00:23:23,305 That's the end of it. 563 00:23:23,407 --> 00:23:24,940 So you're gonna go talk to Treasury, 564 00:23:25,042 --> 00:23:27,843 I'm gonna go tell Tom. Done. Okay? 565 00:23:27,945 --> 00:23:29,545 - Right? - Yes, ma'am. 566 00:23:32,450 --> 00:23:35,384 Hey, ma'am, I know you made the right choice with Charlie 567 00:23:35,486 --> 00:23:37,920 because when you have found someone you love, 568 00:23:38,022 --> 00:23:41,056 who makes you feel special every time he talks to you 569 00:23:41,158 --> 00:23:44,259 and you can be happy just thinking about him, you know... 570 00:23:44,362 --> 00:23:47,129 I mean, that's more important than anything, you know? 571 00:23:47,231 --> 00:23:49,064 Yeah. 572 00:23:51,936 --> 00:23:54,336 - Good morning. - Morning, ma'am. 573 00:23:54,438 --> 00:23:55,804 Madam President. 574 00:23:55,906 --> 00:23:57,773 What brings you here? 575 00:23:57,875 --> 00:23:59,241 Let's do this. 576 00:24:01,278 --> 00:24:03,712 Madam President, what will you be buying for Mr. Baird? 577 00:24:03,814 --> 00:24:05,814 I don't want to spoil Charlie's surprise 578 00:24:05,916 --> 00:24:07,616 under the tree... 579 00:24:07,718 --> 00:24:10,753 but I'm going to be purchasing a book of poetry 580 00:24:10,855 --> 00:24:13,922 by one of my favorite African-American poets, Wanda Coleman. 581 00:24:14,024 --> 00:24:15,958 And I've got my eye on a graphic novel 582 00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:18,560 with a very strong female Asian protagonist. 583 00:24:18,662 --> 00:24:20,229 So, merry Chris... 584 00:24:20,331 --> 00:24:22,664 happy holidays to everybody, right? 585 00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:25,667 - Right. - And let's go shopping. Thank you. 586 00:24:25,770 --> 00:24:27,469 Please don't get me a book for Christmas. 587 00:24:27,571 --> 00:24:31,006 I already have a book. 588 00:24:31,108 --> 00:24:33,475 It's Tom James. I should actually take this. 589 00:24:33,577 --> 00:24:35,644 No, no, that wasn't supposed to come now. 590 00:24:35,746 --> 00:24:37,579 Hey, ma'am. Catherine keeps calling. 591 00:24:37,681 --> 00:24:40,249 - Do you want to take it? - Uh, what? 592 00:24:40,351 --> 00:24:41,984 - No, just let it ring. - Okay. 593 00:24:42,086 --> 00:24:43,719 I don't know why she keeps calling. 594 00:24:43,821 --> 00:24:44,987 When were you gonna let me know? 595 00:24:45,089 --> 00:24:47,356 - I... - I'm Chapter 11. 596 00:24:47,458 --> 00:24:48,891 Janders is buying my assets. 597 00:24:48,993 --> 00:24:51,026 I'm CEO of a fucking yard sale. 598 00:24:51,128 --> 00:24:53,028 - Hey, Charlie, you know what? - How could you fucking do this to me? 599 00:24:53,130 --> 00:24:55,063 - What do you mean? - "Politico" was right about you. 600 00:24:55,166 --> 00:24:56,865 - No, Charlie... - Hey, you said it wouldn't affect... 601 00:24:56,967 --> 00:24:59,001 I know you had an eye job. 602 00:25:04,909 --> 00:25:07,142 You made the right call on the banks, ma'am. 603 00:25:07,244 --> 00:25:09,745 Well, you can thank "When Gary Met Sally" for that one. 604 00:25:09,847 --> 00:25:11,880 He gave me some sappy speech 605 00:25:11,982 --> 00:25:14,149 and made me realize what an idiot I was being. 606 00:25:14,251 --> 00:25:17,352 In further good news, ma'am, Jonah had a huge polling bump 607 00:25:17,455 --> 00:25:19,154 since he hit on the strategy of attacking you. 608 00:25:19,256 --> 00:25:20,823 What? He's attacking me? 609 00:25:20,925 --> 00:25:22,591 Yeah, and the voters, they love it. 610 00:25:22,693 --> 00:25:24,860 - Is that good? - It's really good. 611 00:25:24,962 --> 00:25:27,496 Oh. Hey, Sue, did Charlie call? 612 00:25:27,598 --> 00:25:29,331 - No, ma'am. - Okay. 613 00:25:29,433 --> 00:25:31,934 Mom, there's something that I really need to find a way to say to you. 614 00:25:32,036 --> 00:25:34,303 Catherine, I'm in the middle of a shitstorm like... 615 00:25:34,405 --> 00:25:36,805 Please, I've been trying to talk to you for three days and I need to tell you something. 616 00:25:36,907 --> 00:25:39,741 What is it, Catherine? What is it that is so pressing? 617 00:25:39,844 --> 00:25:43,278 I've met someone and I know that this is awkward 618 00:25:43,380 --> 00:25:45,814 because you work with them, 619 00:25:45,916 --> 00:25:48,283 but we're in love. 620 00:25:48,385 --> 00:25:49,418 Who? 621 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,587 Me and Marjorie. 622 00:25:51,689 --> 00:25:53,188 Who? 623 00:25:53,290 --> 00:25:55,624 Me, ma'am. 624 00:25:55,726 --> 00:25:57,626 What? 625 00:25:57,728 --> 00:26:01,263 Now you know why I've been acting all silly and giggly. 626 00:26:01,365 --> 00:26:03,031 - Hi. - Hi. 627 00:26:03,133 --> 00:26:04,766 We figured you guessed already. 628 00:26:04,869 --> 00:26:06,101 I mean, I know it's so obvious. 629 00:26:06,203 --> 00:26:08,036 Didn't guess. Didn't guess. 630 00:26:08,138 --> 00:26:10,606 - I... - Amazing. 631 00:26:10,708 --> 00:26:12,941 It's... amazing. 632 00:26:13,043 --> 00:26:14,610 I've told Director Parker 633 00:26:14,712 --> 00:26:17,412 I'll be resigning from your detail immediately. 634 00:26:19,350 --> 00:26:21,450 Okay, I'm just gonna need 635 00:26:21,552 --> 00:26:26,088 a little moment to process all of this, girls. 636 00:26:26,190 --> 00:26:27,689 Of course, ma'am. 637 00:26:27,791 --> 00:26:29,458 But I'm happy for you. 638 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,261 - Thank you, ma'am. - Thanks, Mom. 639 00:26:32,363 --> 00:26:34,396 - I love you. - Thank you. 640 00:26:40,271 --> 00:26:42,538 - Uh... - What... 641 00:26:45,543 --> 00:26:47,342 I wish Mother were alive. 642 00:26:49,146 --> 00:26:52,047 'Cause this definitely would have killed her. 643 00:26:52,149 --> 00:26:55,651 - You know how she was. - Mm-hmm. 644 00:26:57,388 --> 00:26:59,121 - Ma'am, is this a good time? - You bet. 645 00:26:59,223 --> 00:27:02,524 The investigation continues at a rigorous pace. 646 00:27:02,626 --> 00:27:05,661 - So who called me a cunt? - Uh... 647 00:27:05,763 --> 00:27:08,163 - Was it everybody? - Pretty much, yeah. 648 00:27:08,265 --> 00:27:09,898 You can go. 649 00:27:16,340 --> 00:27:17,439 - Ma'am... - No. 650 00:27:17,541 --> 00:27:19,074 Okay. 651 00:27:23,914 --> 00:27:26,815 Hi, called ahead for $100 worth of food to go. 652 00:27:26,917 --> 00:27:29,751 Under McLintock. 653 00:27:29,853 --> 00:27:31,453 And I'll be using a Groupon. 654 00:27:31,555 --> 00:27:34,122 - We don't take Groupon. - You have to take Groupon. 655 00:27:34,224 --> 00:27:36,091 I already paid money for this Groupon, sir. 656 00:27:36,193 --> 00:27:39,461 No Groupon. Total is $184.12. 657 00:27:39,563 --> 00:27:42,664 Whoa, I told the guy on the phone $100 worth of food. 658 00:27:42,766 --> 00:27:44,466 Where's this $89 coming from? 659 00:27:44,568 --> 00:27:46,201 That's your problem, sir. 660 00:27:46,303 --> 00:27:48,303 God. 661 00:27:48,405 --> 00:27:51,607 Shit! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 662 00:27:57,581 --> 00:27:59,414 No, no, no, no. 663 00:28:07,858 --> 00:28:09,757 I can't stop smiling. 664 00:28:09,781 --> 00:28:10,868 Neither can I. 665 00:28:11,841 --> 00:28:13,015 I'm giddy. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00